What a Real Woman desires?
It's funny – once a young man has money, affluence or fame, he begins to think every woman is after his wealth, or popularity. He begins to see himself as a real man because he has money and can pay bride price and 'put a woman in the house' without batting an eye or breaking the bank..
A Real Woman is not after a Man's money. No, she knows she can make hers. She knows she needs him to have his too. But beyond wealth, a Real Woman desires –
• Emotional security from her Man
She wants to know she can be herself (completely naked) emotionally before him and not be mocked for it or rebuked. She wants to know he will fight to put and keep a smile on her face, to make her happy, do all he can to defend her emotions every day of their lives together.
A woman's emotions is her greatest vulnerability. It's what makes them different from Men, and a man who cannot understand this aspect and show capacity to handle her in that regards needs to learn. Some men cannot even handle a crying woman, ordinary to pet woman, they will get angry instead. How can you rebuke a women for her emotions? It's like rebuking a bee for making honey. No, no, no. Some men are now even more emotional than women self. It's alright.
She doesn't want to have to compete with anybody for your attention, company. She wants to know beyond any doubt that she is number one in your life. Then will she be at rest completely and feel free to love you totally and fully without any reservations.
• Spiritual Security
As a real woman once told me concerning a suitor asking her hand in marriage – "Me I cannot marry a man who is an ignoramus in Christ". She wants to know that her Man loves God. For how can a man truly love another if he has not yet learnt how to love God, and experienced the true love of God – as another real woman said to me; "true lovers of God make the best lovers". She wants to know he fears God, and not just has money to throw around, or pay tithe and offering; that he respects God, that he values God's Word. She knows in that reality, she is safe with him come what may.
A man that doesn't fear God, please no vex, is it his wife he will now fear? That's the concern of Real Women.
• Understanding from her Man
There's nothing as romantic as an understanding man or spouse, believe you me. One who understands her mood swings and knows how to handle her, one who understands the true nature of women, who understands her when she cries, when she laughs, when she is not in the mood and when she is in the mood, who understands her responsibilities enough to help her around the house to make things easier for her, who understands what she is saying when she is quiet, who understands enough to forgive, to be patient, caring, proactive..
The only thing some men understand about Women is their sexuality and their bodies. After that, every other thing is further mathematics. Are you an understanding Man?
• Leadership
Real Women love a Man who can be the head indeed, not just a figure head – who is kind enough to listen to her, consult her, but yet strong enough to Man his throne and not abdicate. As Adam said "it wasn't my fault, it was my wife that...".
That isn't a true leader. A true leader never puts the blame on others. A true leader sacrifices, he puts his wife's welfare, safety, security, comfort, first before his. That's a true leader. He leads by example, not by issuing commands.
As God said concerning Abraham, "I know he will instruct his whole household after Me,"... that's a True Leader. A True Leader unites those he leads, not divide them.. A Real Woman seeks and desires a Man who is worthy of being her Oremí. Some men lead like our Nigerian Politicians, I chop-you work.. As someone once sang "monkey dey work baboon dey chop".
A True Leader works to improve the lives of those following them not just his.
Are you a leader or a boss?
• Friendship
As I've said earlier, any spouse who can't take a joke is a terrorist. Every body, especially women, seek a spouse they can be free with – they can joke with, play with, laugh with, fight with,.. that's true friendship – that person you can be yourself with, no pretence, no formalities, no protocols. Just you and them and anything you want. It's funny how some men expect protocol even in their bedrooms... don't do this, don't do that, address me by my title only, when I talk always say "Yes Sir", biko, you better go and marry one of your employees oh, that's the best solution..
As a man, what's your capacity of building friendship? Are you kind, nice, a giver, a fun person, funny, tolerant, receptive to being teased and laughed at, humble, OR are you proud, pompous like oga titus, arrogant, sadistic? Tell yourself the truth, it's never too late to make amends... Seek professional help if you require it.
• Appearance
Yes oh, a Real Woman is concerned about her Man's appearance too. Looking good alone is stupid business, that's why we have discussed the above points first. But then, looking good still is good business. A man who doesn't take care of his appearance, I don't know oh, hair like a rasta man, shoe like flying boat..
Dress well, package thyself, your hair, your face, your clothes,.. it's part of the equation.
For Men judge by the appearance, if not, you may keep getting "let me go and pray about it" and then no reply ever comes. They'll just keep praying as if God doesn't answer prayers again. Till the day, their wedding Invitation will reach your hand. Even God gave specifications about how his temple should look like; how his priests should dress.
She may marry you if all the other points are there, but she may not be very proud to show you off when your appearance is nothing to write home about. 100% is different from 90%.
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