Nothing to Offer?

I hear people saying, and postulating that our Ladies have nothing to offer in relationships, and that apart from sex, eighty percent or thereabout of ladies have nothing else to contribute to relationships. How they arrived at such statistics, I know not. Who did the research, the number of ladies they sampled, and the research method employed, till date - the mystery remains unexplained.

To me, this may be an issue of generalization and a case of a few bad eggs. Then again, I may be wrong oh, and it may be a case of a few good eggs and that of ''to every rumor there is an element of truth''. But nonetheless, let me attempt to point out a few things I think the authors of this "women have nothing to offer in a relationship" mantra are aggrieved about.

Dear single Ladies;

- Never make a man your sole support, what about you? Your independence is your truest beauty. Men will only respect you when you show to them you can take good care of yourself by yourself, pay for your hair, buy your own stuff, they will beg to do so for you, and not be making noise everywhere about it.
Some will take you for a gold digger/liability when you lack the capacity to meet your needs without their input. It is thus not right to make consistent financial demands from a man, who is not yet married to you and yet unable to meet those demands yourself if he fails or refuses to do so.

- It is not cool to always want to be at the receiving end without giving back. Give, it shall be given unto you is what we see in the Bible. Give and you shall continue to give is quite absent. Basically, it is a Relationship, not a fund raising event.
As you withdraw, also deposit. Show the man you can as well be a bread winner - bring bread home, they will shut up, and respect you. Buy me sharwama when coming, give me some money, buy me Mr Biggs ice cream, buy Me, BUY ME..  In fact, that is what is happening, he is buying you, no wonder he becomes proud and treats you with less respect. Give him some money too, buy him Mr Biggs ice cream, buy him sharwama, BUY HIM TOO. And see if you will hear him ever ask you "what are you even contributing to this relationship?". He won't even think of it self.

- Nobody wants a liability, hence do not make yourself one in any way, as a single lady. Get a job, get a skill, so you'll have money to at least feed and cloth yourself, and also to contribute in a relationship, and not depend on any man. Never make a man your job. Even if you have one who is willing, look for a job, "my money" is better than "our money". Anything can happen.

- Get a Life. Be industrious.
There's a beauty about a busy and purposeful lady. Don't be omni-available. Be busy, building your life and career. Take care of your business yourself, let him plead to be allowed to contribute.

- Improve yourself - Intellectually, mentally, financially. Let your input be one in a million. When you talk, he feels like somebody is talking. Be able to hold your ground before any crowd any day, anytime. Know your onion, step up your game, don't put your life on hold waiting for any man/marriage to come along and sweep you off your feet, and bring you happiness. Be your happiness. Sometimes, we all just have to be our own hero.

- Don't make yourself into a beggar in the name of I am in a relationship. You see that logic of "was he not the one who asked to marry me, or asked for my hand in a relationship, ehen, he should take care of me". That is weak, selfish and too condescending. Just because he asked you out, he has not paid bride price, take it easy, let him volunteer. Stop making it a must - monthly upkeep, weekly upkeep, money for hair, money for pad, money for everything. He will provide, and you, what are you doing, you don't work? Or You can't work?
Sometimes, just reject his help, make a statement, let him never think he made you.

- STOP GIVING HIM SEX (if you have been doing so). Stop offering your bodies, instead offer him Direction, Wise Counsel, Guidance, Prayers, Your Support, Encouragement, Motivation, Happiness, Care, Concern. Make his life Easy. Show yourself capable of being everything he is (this is a statement, that you are not inferior, after all, you aren't). Show yourself capable of doing everything he does (you earn his respect and admiration). Show yourself capable of improving, and contributing to his life (he should know you have come to build him and build with him, not just take from him). Show yourself capable of taking care of yourself without him, (this one drives us to jealousy and humbles us at the same time). Show yourself capable of loving and living your life to the fullest with him or without him.

It's up to Ladies to show that they have a lot to offer in Relationships beyond their bodies. Encourage ladies everywhere to strive to be more, to do more, to worth more. Of course, ladies have much more to offer in relationships than sex, and their bodies.

If we are to change such opinion about ladies, we must first start within, by changing Ladies.
Nothing to Offer?
I beg to differ.
I believe Ladies have a lot to offer in Relationships and to the World in general.

I am Musa Gift.

(MG)