Reasons Why it never worked out with Your Partner (by MG)

This is a combination of two posts written by Musa Gift (MG).

The first is: Reasons She left You/turned You down.
The second is: Reasons He broke up with You/never proposed.

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Reasons She left You/turned You down

So she just woke up and told you that it is over, or she said she can't go out with you, or be your "friend". But you have prayed and feel led to her, and she is stalling, or she just changed everything months or years into the relationship. You asked her for a reason and she said it is not you, it is her, and well, or that it is no longer working, or that you people are just not compatible.

My brother, I know, sometimes these things happen like that idiopathically, but there are reasons, real reasons ladies break up with guys or reject proposals that they may not tell you – different reasons ranging from fear to the fact that they don't want to hurt your ego.

So I have compiled a list, from what I have heard, read and personally witnessed, I have not included reasons such as your refusal to give in to her demands for sex. Potiphar's wife will not get you in Jesus Name. I have also not included reasons like cultural, genetic and religious differences because these are sometimes beyond your intervention..

Read on, and God bless.

• It is not meant to be

Even if you combined all the men in the world into one man, he will still find a lady that will not be interested in him. Sometimes, these things are like certain ailments, no definite cause. You don't know why but they just don't work out. Accept it. She may have left you despite all you did, not because you were or are a failure. There is actually something called incompatibility, it's either this or;

• You were too bossy

GCON (Grand Commander of the Order of the Niger)
Some times this "head of the house", "MAN" thing gets to our heads. We begin to form boss and unconsciously or consciously turn the ladies in our lives into house girls, till we now hear, "it is over between us". Lol. Sir, hear me. Because you proposed doesn't make her a second class citizen. She will leave you oh, I am telling you. Be gentle. All this "I am a Man", it will not profit you. You will not marry yourself, or are you a BOB, it's RISKY to be oh. The way some men talk to their fiancée, you will think he ordered her from Jumia..

If a man makes himself a boss, and his wife an employee, two things will happen. She will either resign, or she will continue but become a withdrawn and depressed staff. Women thrive in an atmosphere of love. Along with being bossy is being proud. I have heard of a lady who broke up with her fiancé because "he thinks he is a blessing to woman kind". Pride goes before what? A break up. Only a woman who is ready for the heartache to follow marries a proud man.

• You are not Romantic

Romantic involves a lot of issues, not just buying flowers and taking a lady out. From dressing, to manner of speech, to things you do, a lady will be quick to tell you "let me pray about it" and keep you waiting for 7 years than to tell you, "I don't like the way you talk, or dress"
When a lady sees that the relationship is boring, uninteresting, anything becomes an excuse for her to leave. So you forgot her birthday and she told you it's over. My brother, it has been long she has been planning it.
Relationships that starts from friendship, enters marriage, usually involves a CAR – Caring, Attention and Respect.. Ladies of these days are not ladies of those days. You can't afford to be a learner when it comes to these things and then think somehow somehow, spirituality will cover it, or expect her to look the other way because you promised her marriage..
You may feel being unromantic is not valid enough to break up a relationship. Well, irrespective of what we think, it is breaking up relationships nonetheless, that's what matters...
Some young men self, their dressing is not palatable to the eye at all. She has dressed so well and you admire this, why not level up, produce what you expect..

• You're aggressive and violent

I advise ladies, even the Bible advises ladies to avoid a man that is violent (Proverbs 3:31)
"Do not envy a man of violence And do not choose any of his ways". And there you are, proud of your temper.
A sensible lady will run the moment she discovers you have anger management issues – for her own good of course, even me self, I for run too. Learn to control your anger, learn to keep your emotions in check. A gentle man is a man for keeps..

• Low Intellectual capacity (how do I explain this one now oh)

Read books, listen to news, be informed, improve your intellectual and mental capacity. Ladies these days, are looking for men that have something upstairs. You can not afford in this time to be outdated. In fact, that's why you are out of a date. Only a dull woman admires a dull man. In fact, some dull women will still tell you, "as I am now, if I marry you, who will help who, abeg move one side jor".
Ignorance is to have ignored knowledge, that's why it's called ignorance. Don't ignore knowledge.
Some Ladies will call it quits with you or reject your proposal because their sense of reasoning is higher than yours, and you have not shown any willingness to make self improvement a priority.
I see some young boys, sagging and doing dread up and down, no skill, no sense; yet they curse ladies for not accepting them, who no like good thing?

• Prayerlessness

As a "Christian", you do not have a prayer life, you are not even bothered about your spiritual life; yet it is Sister Ngozi in Prayer band department that you like. Are you alright? What of Cleopatra that you people use to hang around the bar together?
Truth is, a Christian will not want to marry you when you are not in a relationship with God..
Go to God, not for a wife, but because you really do need God in your life.

• Weak willed

We are equal, yes. But as a Man, you are the head. It's not about superiority, but about someone being responsible. In an attempt to please a lady, some men become weak willed and softies.
A real lady wants a real man, who can stand his ground, who can take a decision and stand by it. When as a man, your mother still controls you, when your friends tell you how to run your life, madam will just be observing you. One day as only she waka come, she will waka go..
Adam blamed his wife, God still held him responsible.
You are a Man, be a Man. A Woman respects you when you can keep her in check, when you can show your authority as a Man without disrespecting or running her down, without reducing her dignity and sense of value. She won't tell you, but this, she also finds attractive.

• Others (some are silly though, some others are serious)

– Laziness
– Dirtiness
– No financial stamina (no money)
– No six packs or heavy biceps (lwkmd)
– Colour of your teeth (a lady once told me the first thing she looks out for in a potential life partner is white teeth, and if as a guy you are talking to her, she is looking at the color of your teeth. Since that day, the way I brush my teeth ehn, although between you and me, this is not a biggie, but brush)
– Dress Sense

• Feel free to add yours, ladies and gentlemen..

Work on yourself. You owe that to yourself above all..
Wish you a Happy Married Life.

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Reasons He broke up with You/never proposed

Many Relationships break up and all the young man can say is "it is not you, it is me" or "I guess it wasn't meant to be". Some will even lie on God's name and say they were led to break up with you.
All the time, you hear guys give funny reasons for breaking up with ladies, or no reason at all, but whereas in reality there are reasons they broke up with the lady; reasons that they won't say, whether for fear, or they see no reason to.

So today, I bring to the ladies; "Reasons guys break up with ladies". I have not included reasons such as not giving in to his demand for sex because you shouldn't, or cultural and family issues because those are most often beyond your power. God bless You.

• It wasn't meant to be

Let's face it. We aren't designed to marry just any or every body. Just because he is a child of God doesn't make him the one for you (fact).
So you tried all you could, he was a great guy, you are a great lady, and you did the best you could do, but it still didn't work out. Well, trust God, He knows what's best for you. Don't beat yourself up, your relationship with your ex may not have worked out because what's ahead is better, what's coming next always beats what's ex.. this, or;

• You came on too strong (Team IMustMarryThisYear)

As a rule in relationships, never come on too strong to any one. People will assume you are either desperate or a fraudster. So you just met him today, he asks you out the next week and you accept. And the next thing, you are asking him when is he going to take you to see his parents, when is he coming to see your parents,.. ha, aunty, Imabinu (No!), warisit, he will run.

Men can smell a woman that is desperate like a shark smells blood. When you are desperate, you loose sight of reality, you start taking nonsense from him, and believe you me, he may not say it, but he won't respect you for that.

Some Ladies act like if he leaves them, they would die. It's a lie. Don't allow Celine Dion and West Life get to you. It's music, you will not die without him. Let him know, that without him you have a life. Stop acting like without him you are nothing, before him you were, after him, you will be.

"If you leave me, I will die". No wonder he left. You think telling a man that you can't do without him is romantic? No!, it's spooky. Real men want an independent woman who WANTS a spouse, not NEED a spouse. Real men seek a mate who is independent, then they beg her to become dependent on them, go figure..

• Not assertive enough

Can I tell you a secret? There are men who will run away from any woman who has no problem being insulted and being used like a rag because of wedding ring. I for one will not accept anybody that is in the name of a relationship, turning me into a play thing and I expect a lady to have the same expectation from me. Expect him to respect you. You can not turn yourself into a footmat and get angry when people walk all over you.
Speak up, want something, Speak out, don't like something, say so.. Some ladies worship men who can't treat them well, who sadly enough at the end of the day will not marry them. Know your convictions. Is he doing something you don't like? Groping you? Talking to you inappropriately? Why are you keeping quiet? Because of wedding gown? chei..
Many think giving in to HIS DEMANDS will make him commit. Sex doesn't keep a man, it doesn't, I'm telling you. He can sleep with you and still leave you.
Stand your ground, you won't convince him by giving in to him.

• Always Available (sounds silly right?)

It is true what we learnt in economics those days in secondary school – Scarcity drives up demand.
People easily take you for granted if you are sometimes too easy and available. Gold is found deep in the ground, unlike stones and pebbles.

He calls you:
"Are you free on Sunday?"
"emmm, I supposed to be in house fellowship, but I will cancel for your sake"
"Are you free on Monday?"
"emmmm Yes, I am. I ought to be with a customer, but I will cancel for your sake, you know I love you" chei!
"Are you free on Wednesday"
"Yes I am. In fact, I am always free for you"

How can you be always free laidat? You don't have a life, schedule? Work? Church? Abi "you no dey go work?" Even if you are free, pretend like you are not, what?
You rearranged you entire life to suit him, reschedule all your schedules to make you free and available whenever he wants your presence, aunty are you okay?

He will run, afraid will catch him. That this one is a parasite oh, she will just make me her entire world, no breathing space for me.

That meeting you are canceling because of your boyfriend may be the meeting you were supposed to meet your husband.

When he knows you have a life, he will know you won't be a pest or a burden to him. He will know he is not dealing with tissue paper, but a Lady, a human being.
Somebody will just call you, the phone haf not even ring, you have picked. So you just sit by the phone waiting for him to call? You have never missed his call before? oogha oh, You tell him how available you are for him everyday.
A lady should be like a prescription drug, not obtained without a doctor's prescription, not an over the counter drug like paracetamol. Wetin..
I am not saying be unavailable, No. That would be counterproductive. I am saying, don't put your life on hold because you want to be available, because you will end up being too available, and seem desperate..

• Always nagging

"It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house." (Prov 21:9)
If there is one thing a man fears and dreads, it's nagging.
Wives who have lived with a man for five plus years and had kids with him, married him and being with him through thick and thin are allowed to nag. They can ask a man hard questions like "is your head okay?"
But for a lady who is in a relationship to start nagging, no oh.. Tender your complaints and allow him make amends, but don't nag him in the process. He will run, he will get spooked, thinking that you are a nagging woman (which you are if you are nagging him, I mean, a nagging woman nags, so if you nag, you are a emmmm, I did not say anything oh).

He comes to visit you and "where have you been? Why are you just coming? Why didn't you call like you said you will? But I told you never to...."
All said under a minute. Only a nagging woman can do this. You have not even welcomed him first.

Nag definition:
– To annoy (someone) by often complaining about his or her behavior, appearance, etcetera.
– To annoy (someone) with repeated questions, requests, or orders.

Simply put, a nag is someone who is always complaining about every and any thing.
Consistently, Persistently complaining will not change any Man, it will only chase them from you..
Don't drive him way with complains and queries. He will change, show him love, acceptance, let him know you are there for him. And if you can not cope, let him know. Then, watch his attitude. If he is not willing to change, then call it quits. But don't think you will change him by nagging, you will only chase him.. Away..

• Their past

Many guys break up with ladies for something they have stumbled upon about their past. Not all men have the capacity to overlook what is now in the past. Like body count, history of prostitution, abortion(s), child for your ex, criminal records, etcetera; and will run once they discover this.

It's not easy to have a rough past that you are not proud of. It is quite disheartening, but life must go on. I for one believe in honesty. Let him know about your past, maybe not immediately, maybe not everything. But try and at least let him know a little about your past. You may lose say one, two, three, relationships for this. But if you keep a relationship based on hidden truth, it's quite dangerous when he finds out from an outside source. If he can't take it now, he still will not be able to when he discovers later. It's best we find out now.

• Others (some are funny, some are serious, and some are actually overlookable)

– Laziness
– Talkativeness
– Dirtiness (this one ehn)
– Lack of dress sense (no comment)
– Lack of Respect for him, for anyone self
– Inability to cook (another no comment)
– Aggressiveness and violent nature (Some ladies are sisters to Mayweather. You will hear lady slapped her boyfriend, he will run na, who wan die? Or is it somebody like me that hates violence that will now go and marry somebody that will be beating me back to back? Mba) That is why, not many men will go and marry a soldier woman.

Feel Free to add Yours.

As a Lady, it beholds you to work on Yourself. First and foremost, you owe it to yourself. Take a good look at the lady in the mirror.. How many yards wife material do you see?

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Hope You enjoyed and learnt from both of MG's posts?
I think a lot of persons needs this post. It really got to me. Do share with friends.

By: Musa Gift (MG)