Can You really be Yourself in a Relationship?

One of the more fabulous stories I heard from a guy who was toasting me, was that he graduated from Annapolis Naval Academy. Turned out he couldn't swim and that's how his lie was uncovered. If the dots don't add up, they don't.

I find that it's easier to be yourself in a relationship. Sometimes, a good way to take the measure of a man or woman is to see how they react when things go wrong. Do they give you leeway to make mistakes or do they berate you and fly off the handle? Do they adapt to your quirks or do they give up on you and move on?

One of my oldest friends was always late for everything. Like really late. I used to be so irritated. I thought if he respected my feelings, he wouldn't keep doing what I hated. But, he's such a dear friend that my heart knew I was stuck with him forever.
I think when you decide to make someone your friend, it changes how you deal with their quirks and weaknesses. In this instance, after a while, I stopped being irritated by my friend's lateness and began to pragmatically plan around it. I wouldn't leave home until he confirmed he had arrived at our meeting spots. It even became a private source of amusement between us. After many years, he is now surprisingly on time.

I think the move from irritation to amusement and problem solving, happens when there is genuine love and commitment. That's why it's important to be with someone you love. It is difficult to find ways to accommodate someone you despise or barely tolerate. The fuel of duty and obligation needs to be replenished by love.

By: Subomi Plumptre

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