When it comes to marriage, do what works for You

I have this neighbor, he's a househusband while his wife is the bread winner. He's the one that cooks, cleans, washes, etcetera. While the wife makes all the money. He's not ashamed to ask her, "Sweetheart what will you have for dinner when you return?"
We often see him run out of his house to open the gate for his sweetheart and carry her handbag when she returns. The woman in return will "sweetheart him this and that"
They have been married for over 15 years, and just like most couples, they are relatively happy. They are also very good Christians, the man will soon be a Pastor in his church.. A popular church in Nigeria.

When it comes to marriage, do what works for you.

Years ago, I accompanied a colleague to meet an intending client. She has already told me that the woman in question is a true African woman, patriarchal and totally submissive. She told me how this woman still kneels before her husband and wouldn't stand until he tells her to do so.
On that day we went to visit, her husband was home. She came to enquire what he would eat and like my colleague had already told me, she knelt before him. Just immediately, his phone rang and he was on the phone for over 20 minutes and this lady knelt there until the man came to ask her to stand. I later found out, she has the best things money can buy, rides the best cars, tours all over the world, courtesy of her husband.... She still brags how her total submission is a means to her luxuriant lifestyle. Her husband is always bragging about how God blessed him with the bone of his bones and he will do everything to make her happy...

When it comes to marriage, do what works for you.

I once lived with a sister before I got married. She's been married for over 20 years and in all these years she's never washed her own panties let alone her husband's clothes. She has never cleaned her house, she has never driven herself. She doesn't cook. If she ever cooks, it's always small chops and finger foods for her hubby alone. She has over 25 domestic staff serving she, her hubby and her kids.
Her husband is a multi billionaire who can afford the multitude of domestic staffs in their home.
Her husband has continued to thank our family for giving him such a wife. She is his eyes.. She makes sure nothing goes wrong in his business empire and home.. She is the best wife for him and the man can't stop singing it. Both of them have continued to live happily ever after in their castle.

When it comes to marriage, do what works for you.

There is this man, a family friend who will openly tell people "I will discuss with my wife" I can't take any decisions without her... Whatever both of us agree then I will abide by it".
Both of them must agree on a property to buy before he pays for it. They must agree on a vacation destination, on a car to buy etcetera, before anything..
Even though the wife contributes little or nothing to most of this stuffs, they still abide by mutual decision taking. Mutual decision taking is the bed rock of their successful marriage of 13 years and both of them are not ashamed to tell it.

When it comes to marriage, do what works for you.

I have seen different kinds of UNILATERAL ADVICE dished out to people on how to run their marriages especially on social media.
"A woman must do this and that for her marriage to work". A man must do this and that.
Personally, I don't think there is anything wrong with seeking for advice but while at it, make sure you look inwards first and ask yourself "Is this advice good for me and can it work for me in my home?" Then you can make your decision.
As far as I'm concerned, the golden rule of any marriage is that which the couples have agreed to do. For as long as the people in the marriage have made that decision and they are both genuinely happy with it then it becomes their ultimate guide.
We must never forget that no two marriages are the same... We may have relative issues in different marriages but no two marriages can ever be the same.
Every marriage is personal to the people in it and they must come together, look inwards and make decisions that would work for them both.
I could sound it over and over again...
"When it comes to marriage, do what works for you. What rocks the boat of Mr A may sink the ship of Mr B."

By: Ogechi Solomon
Couples and Singles Forum.