Mum OR Girlfriend (/Fiancée/Wife)

I just came across a stimulus that pushed me to write this. I'll be sharing my opinion here, and I want to hope it's the most balanced opinion. Anyway, individuals are different in handling situations, and people have reasons why they handle a situation the way they do. Irrespective of this, it's always best to be logical and consider both sides of the coin, so one doesn't destroy his happiness in the process of trying to increase that happiness.

A Lady complains of her Man tending to give much more attention to the Mum, than the attention she gets. Let's assume the Man loves his Lady and values her, but loves the Mum much more (Everyone loves his/her  family, and everyone should. Sometimes, the love is so great and there are reasons behind that, exceptional reasons most probably).

How do both resolve this issue before it develops to a much more heated one?

The Man:
He has to first be certain he wants and love his partner. If he isn't okay with the relationship, then he should make it clear and let the Lady go. And if his attitude is influenced by anger or wrong deed from the Lady, he should spell it out and either resolve it, and restore the relationship or decide if he wants to quit the relationship and save each one from some emotional torture.

What if the above isn't the case? If he loves the partner, but just sees himself in this situation, then he has to understand this and create a balance. Both his Lady and his Mum are important and his happiness is related to both (I didn't say depend, no one happiness depends on any other person. Happiness is a choice). The best thing I'll do is to bring my Mum and my Lady together, as friends. And I think it's right to see the Lady as family. The Dude should let both of them understand that the other person also contributes to his happiness and if he handles this well, both parties will understand and respect it when the Man gives attention to the other. The Ladies should end up being friends!

I know Ladies may have issues with jealousy, and trying to get the Man all for herself. Sometimes, Ladies may feel they are in a competition with another Lady. The Man should look out for this and clear it up. In fact, I believe that if one's Mum is craving for much more attention, the Man who understands this should talk to the Mum and let her know she's taking it to the extreme. A Man shouldn't let any sort of emotional blackmail to constrain him from being happy or doing what makes him happy, or spending more time with someone who makes him happy, just to make someone else happy. No one is responsible for the happiness of the other. Even one's parents knows it'll be a sort of slavery to take away their child's happiness just to be happy. Some don't understand this, and it's the man's responsibility to make the Mum understand this. So in a case like this, the Man should step up and be in charge, not controlled, though he must still be logical and respect both parties feelings. He, being logical, finds the best solution for everyone.

Alright, I have the Lady's part to write about. See it in the next post (Part 2 of same post title)

Share your opinions and contributions about this.