A Great Dad?
This may seem to be a late post, but it isn't late after all. Last Sunday (18 June) was Father's day. So, before the week is over, I'll have to drop this post.
We'll be sharing some tips about being a great Dad, one that deserves to be celebrated, one who's the best. I think this will be cool and helpful to aspiring Dads (Yeah! The 'young unmarried' and 'Just married!')
Let me start by quoting Sanjay Sabnani:
"A great father knows that parenting is entirely responsible for a child's development - positive and negative - from birth until the child is done with high school. If your kid ends up with behavioral or academic issues, it is because a parent (or both) failed. A great father cannot distance himself from his children or what they become, they are always his."
Let's now see these points on how to be a great Dad:
• A Great Dad loves his family. He shows his love for his wife and his kids. He values the mother of his kids, respects her, loves her (great husbands makes great Dads) and his kids as well. He also makes out time for his family no matter the circumstances. He is supportive in the upbringing of the child and he does this together with his wife. A Great Dad creates a stable home for himself, his wife and the kids.
• A Great Dad creates positive memories. Memories are important for happiness. A Great Dad understands this and ensures he creates No bad, unhappy memories, which could hunt his kids later in their lives. He does this by:
- Watching his words and actions. He controls his words such that he avoids using negative words, statements and compliments on his wife or kids. He rather fills that gap with positive, inspiring and encouraging compliments. Even when the kid does something wrong, he maturely handles the situation with great personal control.
- He celebrates happy moments and events with his family such as Birthdays, special occasions, etcetera. He also celebrates happy moments with his friends and the friends of his wife too (Anyway, friends of each party should be friends of both parties).
- He makes the kids and his wife feel special, by getting them gifts regularly even in the absence of a special occasion; he occasionally takes his family out, visit some fun and social places with them and they together see the beautiful features of life.
- He celebrates the successes of his kids at school, and outside school. He praises the kids when they achieve something, and shows them how important it is. This is an inspiration to the kids, and a great memory.
• A Great Dad is a Teacher. Imagine how hard it would be for one to go through life without a Dad, the many mistakes one would make in the process of trying to learn. It's just similar to having a Dad who is always absent or who doesn't know and effectively use his responsibility of teaching his kids about life.
A Great Dad is a teacher. He is more experienced on life and can effectively teach his kids and help them grow. But in doing this, Dad should these:
- Kids learn from your behaviour and how you relate with their Mom. They tend to practice what they see you do, and say things they hear you say. Thus, a Great Dad should be a great example in behavior and character.
- A Great Dad allows his kids to be themselves. He allows them express themselves the way they are and he doesn't try to impose rules on them. He tries to understands their reasoning and relates with them based on their understanding, so that he will be able to effectively communicate and teach them what's right and wrong. When the kids do wrong, a Great Dad corrects them, not by beating, scolding, shouting, but by bringing them close and try explaining to them why what they did is wrong and what it's better doing it the right way.
- A Great Dad helps his kids have a balanced life. He teaches them to balance play and work, and ensures they don't get carried away by do much play, TV, etcetera. He should help his kids draw up a time table, a guide that will help them regulate their time properly, and at the same time, teach them the importance of planning and organization.
• A Great Dad is not just a father to his kids, but a FRIEND. I believe the best way to raise kids is by seeing them as equals, though they are equals with lesser maturity. As a friend, a Dad can effectively teach and communicate with his kids. He creates that openness that makes the kid have confidence and freedom in relating wit him and sharing his thoughts and daily experiences. With this, the Dad can easily come in, to advice, teach and put the kid in the right part, explaining why the other path is wrong.
To be a FRIEND to your kids, it's best building it from the birth of the kid. The kid should grow up seeing you as his/her friend. It may be difficult later, if you don't build such friendship from the beginning. It's just like having a friend today, and tomorrow something happens and trust is broken, then sometime later, you guys want to rebuild the friendship. It may be very difficult or impossible because of the broken trust.
As a friend too, a great Dad listens to his kids. He also seeks opinions from his kids on some occasions, thereby making his kid feel that he/she is part of the family and is free to contribute his/her ideas. Sometimes, kids are more updated than parents on certain issues, and their contributions can go a long way helping the family.
• A Great Dad is the biggest inspiration to his kids. He understands the kid, watches out for the kids talents and natural abilities, watches out for what his kids likes doing. With this, he motivates, inspires the kid and encourages him or her to do those things he/she loves and have interest in. He also helps the kid develop that talent more and he supports the kid by sharing the story of success with the kids, and teaching them the importance of patience and perseverance. He teaches them not to give up on what they love.
A Great Dad also contributes to the social life of his kids. He helps the kids make right friends, and helps the kids develop in his/her decision making skills and independence. He teaches the kid how friends can contribute positively and negatively to his/her talents and abilities and helps the kids get those that will contribute positively. He teaches the kids about friendship and relationship right from their young age and help the kid develop a positive social life.
• A Great Dad is a good planner, and a provider for his family. He plans the family together with his wife and they decide the best course that will ensure they have a stable family. A Great Dad provides financially for his family. And even in bad times, a great Dad remains a great source of hope. He does his best to get things back and he ensures the kids never feels the emotional or psychological effects of the ongoing financial condition at that moment by never allowing it mess with his hope and ability to inspire and motivate the kids.
• A Great Dad does his best to ensure his kids are better than him and achieve more than he achieves.
I won't leave out the spiritual aspect. A Great Dad teaches his kids about God, about value for God and prayer and that life is all about God.
Writing about a Great Dad could take a big book, but I'm sure I've touched almost all about being one in this piece.
While writing this, I thought about single parents; single Dads and single Mums. We'll talk about them in a future post..
Let's be great Dads! Let's bring out the best in the future! Let's bring out the best in the society!
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