Positive Life & Relationship Blog

I am a member of "The Let's Talk About Series" community. I'll be sharing notes from one of the sessions we had last year December, over a month ago. The session was on Finishing 2018 Stronger, by Tobi Afolabi (TA Speaks), the pioneer of the Let's Talk About Series. ––––– Tobi Afolabi (taspeaks) speaking: Today, we will be discussing: finishing 2018 stronger. Looking at such topic, I am sure a number of us have so many thoughts going through our minds. 2017 has been a fantastic year for me. I hope it has been for you too. I've had lots of successes, challenges, failures (lessons learnt)...  I'm so eager and anticipating what 2018 holds for me, like I am guessing you feel same way. We honestly can't talk about finish 2018 stronger and more fulfilled than this year without looking first at how we have fared this year. What goals were we able to accomplish? What challenges did we encounter? What do we wish we could have done differently? Significanc...

Helloooo! January was "a very long month", it felt like a year, right? Lol. Anyway, it's gone and February is here. Welcome to the Month of Love. I wish you the very best for this month! I hope you made great use of January? You must have taken some few steps closer to that goal. Congrats on that! This month, keep that Spirit Alive! Keep hitting those targets! Keep up with that mental growth! God bless the month of February. Amen! ––––– “The Month of Love Challenge” must have caught your attention. Let's talk about it. February is the Month of Love. At the middle of the month is Valentine day's (Feb 14), and this must have contributed in giving the theme of Love to this month. In the Spirit of Love and Positivity, the Love and Positivity Initiative (LPI) will be taking up a Challenge for this month. This Challenge is aimed on encouraging and promoting Love and Positive Relationships. It's a WhatsApp Challenge, but it's not restricted to...

Having some savings to help you take advantage of investment opportunities when they show up is a nonnegotiable if you are really serious about building wealth. And you will also agree with me that it is not that easy as a lot of things get in our ways. But it is very much POSSIBLE. You might have tried everything. Though you make some money every month, YOU JUST DON’T SEEM TO HAVE ANYTHING REMAIN WITH YOU. It feels as you are slaving away your life and as the months and year winds down, your heart begins to beat fast again as your bank account remains… ”ZEROLY” EMPTY. Some other times, you just start right. It seems you are getting it right and suddenly village people will carry their wahala and come and in a couple of weeks, everything in your account will MIA just like that. Or maybe you keep getting it right, but the problem is that it seems you are working and just SAVING FOR FAMILY AND FRIENDS. Every time you amount something nice, one problem, brother or friend will just com...

Our generation has been termed to be the most open minded in the history of human race. That's partly true, as our generation is extremely diverse, and with that diversity many ways of thinking appear. We find that the ideas older generation consider private are openly discussed by our generation and likes of such attitude and approach towards life. This new behaviour and idea of diversity has exposed a lot of us to accepting new ideas – which is not a bad thing in itself. However, it becomes a problem when we start allowing the ideologies, beliefs, and expectations of others define how we live our life. The lack of a strong personal conviction or ideology has left many to seek validation or acceptance from external parties, letting the acts and words of others guide how they live their lives. To be the best you, you need to know how to break away from letting others tell you what you should or shouldn’t do. If what they’re asking of you or exemplifying doesn’t fit into your plan...

This is a question that has generated a lot of conversation and brought diverse responses. Should an employee seek to pursue his or her passion? When is the right time? How do I make time to pursue it and make it profitable? Questions like these have lingered in the hearts of employees. With the uncertainties at some work place, the satisfaction derived from your heart's call and the fear of regret at the twilight of life. These and many more have pushed many out of their comfort zone to run their dreams and same time, the demands have made much more cower and stay in their comfort zone, drained of life - dying daily. Am I saying you quit your job to chase your passion? Of course not a decision to be made in the spur of the moment. You just must start small and take little steps towards them. I don't want to use my experience to explain this but let me share a friend's. I met him at a wedding over three years ago, we were groomsmen to our mutual friend and from the...

• Saudi Arabia has banned chess, because apparently it teaches you to go against a king, which is not acceptable to them. Also, because that's one place where the female (Queen) has more freedom to move around than the male (King). • The DNA of gorillas is highly similar to that of humans, from 95–99%, and they are the next closest living relatives to humans after the chimpanzees and bonobos. • Closing your eyes helps you remembering things. • Snakes can't blink. • Food actually tastes better when others make them for you – When we make food, we get desensitized to the smell. By: Jude Onyekachukwu Igwe

If unchangeable circumstances seem to be controlling your life, try the following: 1. Focus on what You can control. Example, You may not have full control over your health, but you can exercise, eat healthy food and get sufficient rest. 2. Clarify what You would like to accomplish in life. Break it down into small steps. Try to spend at least a little time each day working toward your goals. 3. Do tasks, even small ones, that give you a sense of control. Clean the kitchen table, and wash the dishes. Dress neatly. Do the most important tasks first thing in the morning. 4. Look at the possible benefits of your circumstances. For example, does your situation give you greater insight into ways of coping with difficulties? Can you use this insight to help others? Bottom line: You may not be able to control your circumstances, but you may be able to control your response to them. By: Ukeme Mandy Ezekiel

Sometimes, push needs to come to shove before we become aware that the things we do affects a lot of people. A lot of people look up to us, we are their role models and disappointing them will be a disappointment to our Purpose. There's no purpose without people and there's no "people" without a purpose. Growing up is basically one of the most difficult experience in life. When I was a teenager (damn!, it feels so good saying that) I really wanted to become an adult but little did I know that adulthood is a mindset. An old man with a child's mindset is still a teenager and a teenager with an old man's mindset is an adult. In my case, the later was my situation. Growing up ain't easy. I remember when my "friends" and I almost got arrested on our way back from a night club by 4 AM. From that day I decided not to put myself in that kind of situation again. The next day I ran away from those people I used to call my friends. There's a differ...

It is quite easy, it happens unconsciously to size up people, and conclude that they are not smart, or intelligent, or may be that they are less of a human than you are, because you have some things going on well with you. The simple truth is that nobody is better than any body, nobody is smarter, wiser, more intelligent or even important than any body. And for our society Nigeria where we adore the wrong things, where we celebrate ignorance, emotionalism, showmanship, where we celebrate noise, noisier noisiest, where we celebrate repackaged stupidity and all manner of idiocy, any cow or goat can even become a leader in Nigeria. This does not negate the fact that we should always celebrate hard work, honesty, excellence in any fashion or fare they appear. The first thing I do when I meet a being is to check if they still have humanity, if it is not there, to me, the person is just an effigy, a mutant, a cyborg who adumbrates his or her inferior goods. Worthless. The tiger needs not...

Words You speak about your life, health, family, money and relationships create your realities, your present and future experience. Things you say, jokingly or not, they go ahead of you to create. Words are not empty, they are potent enough to build and destroy. Mind your utterances, internal conversation and what others say to you. Your Success is hinged on it. By: Peter Ochuko Kajovo

Whatever you're doing that builds value in others, don't stop! You may not be on the spot light yet but trust me when I say someone somewhere is watching. Living a life of consistency is one of the most difficult part of self discipline. You're going to be pushing from the opposite side of your natural self. And whoever told you it was easy either lied to you or is not even thriving on the part of consistency. When I started on this journey of being intentional with my life, the first few months were joy ride for me. I'd record daily activities frequently. But then the later part was like getting Donald Trump to agree with North Korean ICBM. I was able to pull through, I'm not saying I'm perfect on Consistency but sure thing that helped me was my decision to not give up. The word DECISION comes from the Latin word "decidere", which means "to kill off any other alternatives". It's not all joy ride now but it's certain that I'm ...

Overwhelmed by the pain of pursuing happiness and chasing your greatness, and feel like giving up? Hey! Pause! Got some words for you. Growth may be painful. Change may be painful. But nothing is as painful as getting STUCK at where you do not belong because you gave up. By the way, pain is a signal that you are healing after an injury. Someone with dead nerves and no white cells will not feel any pain even when cut by a sharp object. So, friend, your pain in the pursuit of your dream life is a signal that you're healing/moving away from your dreaded life. Hence, say to yourself in the midst of the pains, MAN'S NOT HOT (sorry, I meant man's not pained). Skiiiiiiiraaaaa a! (my words to the UNSTUCK community member that called me late last night) Good morning. Its a bright new day. Fresh opportunities are waiting – Go take them! You are unstoppable! @DrOsaz By: Deji Osasona

Yesterday (the day before the day this was written), I sent out a post for my audience to help me select the cover for my next book. The comments and feedback was superb. My TL was literally on fire and I really appreciate everyone who took out time to comment and share their views. You are the best. That exercise and experience thought me a great lesson that will guide me in executing my goals in 2018 and I am sure it will be of help to you also... Self Awareness is not just knowing your strength and weakness, it's also the ability to learn from your experience. What did I learn from the exercise of yesterday? People are watching – Yesterday night, I received an alert of N7,500 from Chinonye Yukay as she took advantage of the 50% discount for the Achievement Executive Class. This was more of a surprise to me because I really don't know his Lady from Jack and we haven't spoken before. I quickly made a call to her as she had sent a text to confirm her payment. This go...

Have you ever thought about why clients work with you and not someone else? Have you thought about the mind battle that prospects go through before deciding to work with you? Think about it, is there anything really different between your offer and that of your competitors? So why is it that Davido fans discredit Wizkid's creativity? Why does "Ronaldo is better than Messi", "Messi is better than Ronaldo" arguments still receive oxygen till this day? Is it because Messi score goals that Ronaldo cannot score? Or is it because Ronaldo is a machine? I won't spread a red carpet for this comparison. Recently, one of my friends was hell bent on getting a package from a particular lady when she could have gotten same package from any other person. She insisted till she got her wish. Looking back now, I realized she did what she did not because this particular lady has a special tech or strategy. She has only bought into the lady that she became an ardent fan...

I'm not a prophet to have made such bold statement, but experience shows clearly that those who do these 3 things only create content for themselves and a few other people. I know you don't want to keep throwing sachet water inside third mainland bridge, neither do you want to fetch water in a basket. You want your content to increase your influence and maximize opportunities. Let's get right into it... You only talk about yourself always: Some people have PhD in selfishness. You can create 7 different contents and everything will be centered around you. You don't really care to talk about your readers, your audience or address their pains. It's either you are talking about what you had for breakfast, what someone close to you did and all those stuffs. Some even call it storytelling and yet, they fail to relate their stories back to their readers and how that story can help their readers. It's okay to talk about yourself, it's the default thing human do...

The face you give when you launch a new product and instead of people to buy they say "Congratulations, I am proud of you". Am I the only that has experienced this? When I first launched my first book, At the River Bank, I had a lot of people that told me Congratulations, the moral support was something else but that Moral support demoralized me and I gave into depression. Do you know why? Only one person purchased my book on the day I launched it. The person that even purchased the book was my friend, Promise Excel. Over 300 congratulations and only one person purchased the book. How does that sound? Have you been in this same situation? I was sharing this story with Bella the other day and I realized how much I've grown from that experience. I almost took up on Social Media to say "Mbok thank you for all the Moral support but abeg buy the book na". Thank God I didn't do that, I wonder what would have happened to my brand by now. I realized that I ...

It is true that you achieve what you put your mind to. January 27 2017, I was seated in the office to have my final interview. I have read lots of interview questions and answers online before then like I was going to get a 10 million naira job. Staying without job for a year was the lowest point of my life. I answered every questions pragmatically and then the very big question! How long do you see yourself working with us? "I can only guaranty that I will be here in the next one year", I replied. I didn't even last a year because I have my purpose and focus in view. I knew exactly what took me there so I wasn't that employee who has the mindset of retirement. In fact, I never participated in anything long term there. Maybe you also want to have total control of your time to play a bigger game. The following steps will guide you. Find your purpose: Every decisions I took springed from my discovery of Oladipupo. Though I was jobless in 2016, I used that year t...

"Leaders must be good managers, but most managers are not necessarily good leaders". TOM MULLINS. "Leadership is influence " JOHN. C. MAXWELL. Becky Brodin said, "Leadership is not wielding authority – it's empowering people". The most effective leadership is by example, not edict. A leader is one who guides and develops the activities of others and seeks to provide continual training and direction. Leadership is an awesome responsibility. Leadership is a trust conferred upon by others. To earn this trust, you must be true to yourself. Leadership development is a lifetime journey, not a brief trip. Leadership emerges in response to situations that require the very best you have to offer. Brain Tracy said, "The ability to make decisions and act boldly in face of setbacks and adversity is the key to greatness in leadership". John Hagai said, "Leadership is the discipline of deliberately exerting special influence within a group to...

Each time I hear things like the young people should be given a chance to lead, I laugh. I know we still have very good and competent young people that can be agents of transformation but they are in the tiniest minority. So many are quick to use the arguments of our past leaders attaining positions of leadership at very young ages, true but you must realise that they got there not because of their competency but because they were lucky to be among a few that were a bit enlightened in the wake of transition from the colonial era. There was an immediate need to transfer responsibility of leadership to any indigenous person that had some level of education but not because of their ingenuity. From my judgement, they were average and had not passed the mediocrity mark of which I will say they are the reason for our current predicaments. If truly they were competent enough, they would have been visionary and futuristic in their policies and programmes. They would have known population wou...

Poor people are the worst people to deal with, especially when it is a case of poverty of the mind. A poor man is angry and ungrateful; it bewilders me the more when a poor ignorant man is proud. I am beginning to understand why poor people think the rich are wicked. All a poor man wants from you is money, and believe me, money is not the problem. I have tried many times but at each try, I have been left frustrated. You cannot help a man that have built his life on wrong paradigms, never! I have seen people whose actions and lifestyles tended directly towards abject poverty. The worst form is when a man is financially stupid and when you try to advice him, he throws the 'who are you to teach me how to spend my money' at you. I have said this over and over, that 100k you are about to blow may be your only 100k for life. God gives every man an opportunity to gain access to greatness which may be in the form of money, knowledge, or relationships. Everyone on earth have had an o...